Passage to Elysium
by neekabe
Summary: Five stories of Five men who finally found peace in Elysium, world of dreams, land of the dead. *Note inside* death.
1. Who Wants to Live Forever?

Who wants to live forever This was origionally 5 different one-shots, however I decided that since they all connect I might as well put them all into one story. They probably should have been like this since the beginning, but I wrote them completely out of order. Anyways, that's why the styles varry so much through this fic; they were origionally not together. It's a multi part, not a chaptered fic.   
  
One of these days I might finally get around to writing the epilogue. So If you people really want it let me know eh?   
  
I do not own Gundam Wing nor the song "Who wants to live forever" by Queen  
  
  
Please read and review this one. I like to know what people think of my stuff, good or bad I don't really care as long as it's honest! my e-mail is neekabe@canoemail.com  
  
Now, just go ahead, read and enjoy.   
  
  
  
_ Elysium: A place or condition of ideal happiness_  
  
**Who wants to live forever?**  
  
Pain was his entire existence. He could hardly remember what it was like not to hurt. The doctors gave him shots but they hardly did any good anymore. The disease was genetic. There was no cure, just temporary relief. What was the point to it all? He was dying and he knew it. They were just trying to postpone the inevitable.   
  
_There's no time for us  
There's no place for us  
What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us? _  
  
The war had finally ended though. There was no longer any need to fight… and for that he was grateful. Another bout of pain washed over his weary body. He was tired. So tired of fighting, even fighting his own body.   
_  
Who wants to live forever?  
Who wants to live forever...?  
  
  
_ More pain. Stronger than ever before. He bit back the scream that threatened to come forth. He would remain strong until the end. But it was so hard... his mind fled from the pain of the present, to the sanctity of the past. _Merain._ There was pain there too...   
  
_ There's no chance for us  
It's all decided for us  
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us   
  
_ His wife… he remembered her. Sitting in that field of flowers. It was the only time he had admitted to himself that he loved her. … and it had been their last moments together. She died in his arms, in the arms of a boy far too young to understand. A boy who only now was just beginning to understand all that he left that day in the field of flowers.   
  
_ Who wants to live forever?  
Who wants to live forever?  
  
  
_ He had held on to that memory of her and her cause for all of his life. He still loved her, but loving didn't bring her back. All loving anyone ever brought was pain and heartache.   
  
_ Who dares to love forever?  
When love must die  
  
  
_ Then, suddenly, he saw her. There, just above the stark cleanliness of his hospital bed. She was just like he remembered, full of life and vigour, with a smile hovering on her lips. She looked like she was ready to burst into joyous laughter at any moment. She glanced down at Wufei's pain wracked form, looking slightly confused. His body convulsed and, despite his best efforts, tears of pain escaped. He was loosing control, and control was the only thing he had left now. Soon he would have nothing.   
  
_ But touch my tears with your lips  
Touch my world with your fingertips  
  
  
_ Her stretched out towards his tormented body, wiping the tears of pain from his cheeks and cooling the fevered brow. She caught his gaze and held out her hand to him; her eyes asked the question. He considered all he had to leave behind. He would miss those he had meet during the wars. The other Gundam pilots...Sally. They were the few he could honestly call friends. Could he leave them now? Yes. He had finally proved himself worthy of her love. There was no more war, he was no longer needed here. He could finally rest in peace. Blurred eyes suddenly focused, smiling, he reached up a trembling arm. He took her hand and went with her.   
  
_ And we can have forever  
And we can love forever  
Forever is our today  
  
  
_ The monitors then flat lined. Doctors came rushing in trying to bring life back to the body; but the life didn't want to return. Eventually they gave up, they had done all they could. Only one noticed that the body was now smiling.   
  
_ Who wants to live forever?  
Who wants to live forever?  
Forever is our today  
  
  
_ Two figures were in a field full of flowers. Wufei stood there with his arm possessively encircling Merain's waist, a rare smile was hovering on his lips. Happiness, contentment...peace. This was all that he had lost that day in that field so many years ago. He looked back, doubt flashed through his mind. What about those he left behind? How would they deal with this? He would miss everyone, how could he deal? Then as a new awareness filled his mind he smiled; there should be no regrets.   
  
He would see the others soon.   
  
_ Who waits forever anyway?_   
  
  
  
  
***end***  
  
  



	2. I Never Said I Wouldn't Cry

****

**I never said I wouldn't cry**

The girl smiled softly to herself as she watched the panicked flutter of the birds. She opened the window, breathing in the cool air, glad to let some life into the stark sullen room. That smile, however was short-lived and it soon faded as she turned back to the still figure on the bed. 

_Fly, Fly little wing_

_Fly beyond imagining_

_The softest cloud, the whitest dove_

_Upon the wind of heavens love_

Hilde smiled and bit back tears as she resumed her vigil. He had been hit by a car, a drunk driver no less. A bitter laugh escapes her lips. Who would've thought that Duo Maxwell, the Shinigami, who survived so much, would finally be defeated by a drunk. She laughed again, laughed so she wouldn't cry. 

_Past the planets and the stars_

_Leave this lonely world of ours_

_Escape the sorrows and the pain_

_And fly again _

But still, he hadn't yet been defeated. He was still fighting with everything he had, fighting as he had always been. A constant bitter battle against himself, the world, everything.  Every moment of his life had been part that eternal struggle so others could have everything that he had once dreamed of. Her heart wept for his battered soul.

_Fly, Fly precious one_

_Your endless journey has begun_

_Take your gentle happiness_

_Far to beautiful for this _

He was just too good for this world, too pure too happy to live in this world of pain. This world that took so much and gave so little. They stole his childhood, his cause, and all they gave in return was devastation…and a bleak, white hospital room. 

She remembered that awful night. Seeing that car too late. It just appeared out of the night, no lights no warning. Then there was the noise. The crunch and screams. The blood and pain. She was a veteran of the wars but this was just so…different. More intimate, more terrible then the MS battles ever had been. She could hear Duo talking to her, trying to reassure her _"Don't worry…I won't leave you…you'll be okay…I'll never leave you…"_

This world sucked the very life out of him; and still he fought. But the wars were over. He shouldn't have to fight anymore. 

_Cross over to the other side_

_There is peace forevermore_

_But hold this mem'ry bittersweet_

_Until we meet…_

Would he ever be the same person he had been before the wars… before that hard life on the streets? Could he ever find that carefree spirit while he was still tied to this world? This place held so much pain and memories.

She choked back tears. He would fight this, as he had everything else, and he might just wake from this coma. But would that be winning? Even then he would be paralyzed from the neck down, it was the best the doctors could do. He would never be the Duo she had known before. He would never run again, never lift her into his arms, never fly. And the thought of this earthbound Duo was almost too hard to bear; he had always seemed to float before. Hilde leaned over the body of her promised one and stole one last kiss, for memory's sake. 

_Fly, Fly do not fear_

_Don't waste a breath don't shed a tear_

_You heart is pure your soul is free_

Be on your way don't wait for me 

_Duo. I love you…so fight for yourself just this once…fight for what you want…I'll be strong for you…I promise. _Her voice broke. _I know I'll see you when tomorrow comes…you won't be leaving me._

_Above the universe you'll climb_

_On beyond the hands of time_

_The moon will rise the sun will set_

_But I won't forget. _

It may have just been the product of exhaustion and hope, but just before life left that crippled, grief-filled body, Hilde thought that she saw a smile flicker across his placid face, felt his hand tighten around hers in a gesture of farewell. Then Duo was, at long last, victorious. 

_Fly, Fly, little wing_

_Fly where only angels sing_

_Fly away the time is right_

_Go now. Find the light. _  
  


She could almost see him grinning as he ran onto a place of endless day, his braid flapping behind him like a kites' tail. There was no more sadness in his step, no more pain in his eyes. For the first time in his life he was genuinely happy. Hilde smiled weakly. Before there had been that constant underlying pain; now it was gone. How could she deny him that?

She turned and left the body. In her mind it was no longer Duo. Duo was that shining joyous light she had seen. But that knowledge didn't erase the loss. 

"I promised I would be strong, but I never said I wouldn't cry…" the words trailed off as her voice broke with tears "I never said I wouldn't cry…" 

***end***

I do not own Gundam Wing, any of the characters, or the song Fly….

Just leave all thoughts, comments, complaints, suggestions, (dreams, hopes, future aspirations…) in a review (or e-mail me at neekabe@canoemail.com ) and make me happy or un-happy depending….but don't worry that'll just makes me write more angst ^_^ 

And big thanks to all those special people who reviewed my other stuff…and those of you who are going to review this one (hint, hint, nudge, nudge ^_^  )…and SSJ_Bardock and Lady PhoenixDagger for editing this, and those people who actually read down this far *grins*. 

Have fun with life! 

neekabe


	3. In A Field of Flowers

In a field of Flowers Okay..I'm finally finished! and I must admit that this was the hardest of the bunch, so it is completely different from the others and very short ^_^ I might do a little epilogue thing-y but that all depends on if my muses co-operate with me *glares at muses, who grin evily and promise that any sleep gotten tonight will be filled with inspiration, which will promptly disapear in the moment there's a chance to write them down*   
  
As always let me know what you think about this!   
  
You can e-mail me at neekabe@canoemail.com   
  
  
**In a Field of Flowers **   
  
  
Emotions…they're strange things.  
  
I am sitting in the middle of a field. It is a meeting place for the people here. The sun is setting, birds are singing. Everything here is… right.  
  
Relena is sitting nearby, watching the sun set. She looks a little resigned but hopeful at the same time. I can tell she misses Heero, but she does know that he will be here soon. She knows her fiancé. No force on earth could keep him from her for long.   
  
I remember happiness. The day he proposed to her. We had all hoped that he would find a way to give up his war finally. But none of us really expected it. The look on her face that night at my house was pure joy, and even the ever stoic Heero had softened slightly. However, any threat to Relena brought out the single-minded soldier he had once been. And woe betides any one who stood between Heero and his mission.   
  
I think of that day long ago when I did stand between Heero and his goal. I remember fear. Fear that I would die, but overpowering that was fear for Trowa; Fear that my foolishness would cause Trowa's death. I remember fear when the first explosions ripped through the building. Fear for lives lost, fear for the lasting peace. But that was soon buried. I didn't have time for that. I had to make sure people got out safely.   
  
Then I remember anger. I was angry when the war killed my father, my sister. I was angry with the White Fang, Romefeller, OZ; all of them for making the war live on. I was angry when the remnants of those groups bombed the peace conferences that Relena and I, along with hundreds of others, were at. For that they deserve whatever hell Heero sends them to. And I was angry when they killed me.   
  
Now I know only joy and hope. Now I know. I know the pain was worth it. And I know I will not feel the anger. I have distanced myself from these emotions, from hate and fear and anger. I left those behind with my body on earth. They will be only a memory. A bittersweet memory here in a field of flowers, beside my friends, and finally at peace.   
  
  
  
***end***   
  
  
  
  



	4. The Last Mission

**The Last Mission**

The solitary figure drifted through the compound. Cold and hard, it once again lived as a child of darkness. 

It moved easily, implacably, through the base. Every step planned, every moment choreographed. Like an angel of death it paused at each doorway just for an instant before moving on to the next. However, unlike the legendary Angel of Death, it spared no one. It marked its own doors, passed over every house.

The seemingly random pattern of the shadows movements soon assorted itself into a circular path moving inexorably inwards, towards the center and the main command block.

The guard was surprised when a piece of living darkness detached itself from the wall. He didn't make a sound as he died; the dark wraith flowed to the man's partner, who managed to give a single cry of alarm before he too was taken by Death. 

That cry however echoed loudly in the still night air.

"Intruder!"

_Shit._

_***_

I no longer have to worry about stealth. My only concern now is speed. I have to get the rest of the explosives planted before I die.

I know my mission and it _will_ be my last, and, ironically, the first I've ever done by my own free will. It's a simple strategy. All I have to do is destroy this organization. Then I will die.

I start at a ground-eating lope. Moving as fast as I dare while still conserving my strength. An order for a complete grounds search has been given. I have no doubt that they will find me soon, but I'm not yet sure they know what it is they're catching. 

They have so much to pay for. There were thousands at that conference they bombed. Thousands of innocents died along with the delegates…Quatre among them. Not one survived. And Relena…. Anger boils within me accompanied by total despair. I could not save her then. But in that one strike they destroyed any reason I might have had to ignore them. I didn't want to kill anymore…I promised myself I wouldn't have too. Everyone else is gone now though. Trowa's the only other one alive, and he's still dealing with the loss of his sister. This same group killed her too. They killed Relena, and in doing so they destroyed any possible chance for mercy. 

I shake my head to clear my mind of such thoughts. I don't have time to dwell on that. Today they will pay. Today…today we were to be married. _No!_ I caution myself against too much reflection of the past. It destroys me, weakens me…like she once did. No…her love _made_ me strong.

They've found me now. I feel a bullet bite into my thigh; another hits my shoulder. And I do the only thing I can think of. I turn off the pain and keep moving. I don't bother even considering turning on those shooting. I can't waste time on pointless fights. We're all going to die anyway.

I can see them trying to flank me. They have something planned. I don't see any point in trying to figure it out. I'm too close to my goal and I just can't take the time.

Then the wall beside me explodes. I'm thrown into a wall by the force of the blast. My left arm is useless now; it's dislocated and covered in burns, along with the rest of me. There's a door right beside where I'm lying. Good enough. 

I stagger into the room, every part of me hurts. My legs give up on me and I collapse into the corner of the room, breathing hard, trying to regain control. I can see figures moving in the flames outside the door. They'll enter soon and I won't be caught like this. I force tired legs to stand and prop myself up in the corner. Simply to stubborn to lie down and die. 

A small troop of soldiers enters cautiously. They spread out in front of my corner, blocking all escape, leaving me no other alternative. In other words; effectively sealing their fate.

I smirk.

*** 

I don't get it. The boy is just standing there in the corner. He's not making a single move to fight or run. He's just standing there, smirking slightly.

I step towards him, menacing him with the gun. We had been told that he was dangerous but…come on! He looked 12!

"Give it up boy…we've won." He looks up at my words, and pushes himself off the wall. I look at him curiously. Something in his manner just changed. He no longer looks like a child, half-dead from bullet wounds, burns and exhaustion. Now he just looks deadly. 

"No…" Though his body trembled fatigue his eyes still glittered in the flickering firelight. "You haven't won." His head came up and he stood tall, all the pain and exhaustion seemed to leave his body.

"I'm not dead yet…"

He raised his arm and locked eyes with me. In his eyes I saw death.

***

Man and boy locked gazes as the boy pressed the small red button in his hand. 

The room rumbled as explosions ripped through the complex. Beginning on the out perimeter the firestorm ripped though the base, burning everything in its path. Engulfing everything hells fire. At the center it burned the brightest and for a moment the spawn of darkness became a creature of light, 

"_Hello, my friends…Relena…today's our wedding day"_   
  


Mission…complete.

~~~end~~~

So… what do you think? 

I love to hear from people! You can e-mail me at neekabe@canoemail.com (hint hint ^_~ )

Big thanks go to SSJ_Bardock for being my beta… huggles to you! And all those people who reviewed my other stories…and those pf you who will review this one…you all get huggles too!! Happy people!!!

I do not own Gundam Wing and, as always, comments and criticisms are welcomed. 


	5. Flying

Flying **Flying**   
  
  
  
  
  
They're all dead. All of them. He was the last one left. Disease and battle. Who would've thought that after so much they would be killed now, after surviving so much.  
Trowa walked into the empty circus, looking up at the remnants of the brightly coloured tent. Flags fluttered and the trapeze swung in the gentle breeze. The young man walked among the memories, his hand drifting over the familiar items. The benches, the rail that surrounded the ring, the board where he faced death so many times. He lingered there, staring at the charred wood, graceful fingers moving across its surface feeling the places where the daggers had pierced it. _Cathy… _his only family. She to had died. The rebels were trying to exterminate all the former pilots. They had attacked the circus in an effort to get at him.   
  
He began to climb the ladder up the centre support, the one that led to the very top of the tent. One step then another. So much had happened in his life…and so little of it was happy. His mind rebelled against remembering his childhood. Too much pain and fear; that was all he could remember of that time, that and a few random flashes of memory.   
_"C'mon Nanashi…" a leering voice   
"Worthless bastard" pain and anger   
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" blinding agony   
  
_ He climbed another few feet.   
  
_ He was fighting in that mercenary army so long ago.  
"They were the ones who raised you." He heard the captains' voice and his own answering "But they betrayed us."  
Then later his dead emotionless voice trying to hide the fear inside;  
"I have no regrets. I kill the enemy I see before me. I'm only practicing what they taught me."   
That girl Midii was speaking "How long do you plan to wear that mask that never cries?" And he was answering "For as long as I manage to live..."  
He hadn't let it slip yet   
  
"Nanashi…"  
"That's not me. I have a name. I am...a traveler who's looking for a home to return to." _   
  
Again   
  
_ One by one he saw them all fall. Wufei of disease, Duo was killed in a car accident. Quatre and Relena were both killed in a terrorist bombing, the same group that had attacked the circus. Heero had gone on a kamakazi raid not long after Relena died, destroying the rebels' base, but not before they managed one last strike. The one that had killed Cathy…   
  
People were screaming as the bombs went off. He was running to get to Cathy. He was too late the saw the flash, heard the roar, and the screams. He could feel the heat of the fire surrounding him, it was almost unbearable. Then his world went black._   
  
  
Finally he reached the top. He stood balanced precariously at the top of the pole.  
  
He heard Heero's voice in his mind _"Dying hurts like Hell…" _But could living hurt more? _'Yes' _he answered himself. You only feel the pain of death once.   
  
He closed his eyes on the wreckage of his only home. Trying to forget the sight of the burnt wood and missing walls, trying to forget the smells of fire and burning flesh. Trying to forget the sounds of the screams…  
  
Then once again he could hear the happy shrieks of the children, their laughter and smiles echoed through his mind. He spread his arms, as if acknowledging the applause of the people. One last moment where he was truly happy.  
  
Without opening his eyes he leaned foreword. Arms spread wide, he descended into nothingness   
  
And for a moment … he flew.   
  
  
  


****end****

  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing  
  
Authors Notes: I was really irritated when I wrote this...and when i'm mad, someone dies. Please Review! Let me know what you think _please_   
I haven't managed to perfect long distance mind reading yet so you'll have to tell me the old fasioned way by reviewing here   
*-_-*   
  
  



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